I can hear clearly now.....

In the past 6 months I have noticed my hearing decline at a rapid speed. It scared me and I found myself wondering what my 'hearing' future had in store for me. I was saying the usual 'Huh' and 'What' too regularly and consequently driving people insane with having to repeat things!!

Obviously we have been seeing so many specialists with regards to Macie's hearing and much to my annoyance - the conversation always reverted back to me being told that I need to get my hearing tested, my voice sounded flat, blah blah blah. The conversation usually ended with me about to rip the specialists head off and then politely telling them that the appointment was for Macie and not her mother. This is the USUAL outcome - however, unfortunately our ENT's (Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor) comment on Monday was the final straw and as per my Mama's observations....I ripped his head off with my eyes....I was so mad that my Mama actually patted my leg to try and settle me down!

Yes - I know, I try to live the mantra of being happy, living life like Teflon and then with soul. But there are a few things in life that make me angry - and an Angry Hannah is not a pretty sight. My Mama commented that I have such a fiery streak and it's true...but I associate fiery with passionate.

Why was I so mad you ask?

After so many years of speech therapy, tutoring and hearing support....I think that MY speech is great. Just think what it would have been like without all this intervention. I think I have come a long way and instead of being told that I need this and I need that....I suppose I would like to be told by all those specialist that 'Hey Han - you have done such a great job.'

So....I bit the bullet and went for a hearing test. I was nervous - I felt sick. I had the worse case scenario all planned out in my head....the results would say that I need a Cochlear Implant and I would have to learn sign.....yep, I wasn't in a great mental place at all.

Then, I met the most beautiful audiologist EVER - I am her biggest fan.

The first thing Lisa said after I told her my issues was 'You have done so well - your speech determination is fantastic, you should be so proud of yourself'.

I nearly cried.....happy tears of course.

So we popped some new moulds on my hearing aids and had a hearing test....and the results showed that there was no real decline in my hearing as I had suspected. My right ear was getting into Cochlear territory however due to my speech determination being so good - I would never be a candidate (not that I want to be).

So guess what was inhibiting my sound?

MY MOULDS! My tubing had gone hard which was limiting the amount of sound that was coming through to my ears. Obviously the tubing was deteriorating over the past 6 months which made me feel like my hearing was getting worse and worse as the days went on.

So after doing a happy dance and releasing all my bad thoughts - I was then told even better news.

I could get new hearing aids....if I wanted to. Check these babies out....




Aren't they awesome? You can hardly see the mould and the tubing is so thin and unobtrusive. They don't whistle (mine whistle endlessly throughout the day!) and they are water resistant meaning that if I get caught in the rain - it won't be the end of the world!

They come with a hefty price tag of $3350 EACH - so I have started to save. These aren't a necessity....more a luxury and hopefully one day, I will be able to proudly wear them.

After my appointment I was so overjoyed.

Firstly I rang my Mr H to tell him the good news and he was just as excited for me. It never ever occurred to me just how concerning it has all been for him too. Never once did he pressure me to go and have a hearing test....he just loves me for me.

Then I rang my sister Emma. I know that Em has been feeling the same way with her hearing - too scared to go for the hearing test and not wanting to know the result. Her moulds are old too so she is off for a hearing test and some new moulds too! We BOTH feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel now....and it's just the best feeling.

I said a special prayer that night after celebrating with my Mum and Dad with a vino. I have so much to be thankful for....especially my hearing.

Emotions and Playdough

I had my TEACHER hat on today as we finally did our first SKYPE lesson with Moo. Last week was planning & initiation and this week involved putting in all into practice! So after a late night sewing up toy bags for the lesson - we were ready to go!

To be honest with you - I was nervous - very very nervous. I had received Moo's IEP (Individual Education Plan) earlier that week and it was 16 PAGES LONG! Eek. Along with the IEP came a flood of emotions. I was questioning myself as to whether Mr H and I had made the right decision as I didn't want us to spend Macie's childhood analysing every sound she made or if she was meeting the development goals on her IEP. As a Mama, I have found that I really beat myself up about any decisions I make on behalf of Moo and hope to god that I have made the RIGHT ones!

With the nervousness nearly eating me up (Poor Mr H copping the brunt of it!) - we prepared for our lesson and as soon as I saw the gorgeous faces of Michelle and Linda from the Hear & Say Centre....the nervousness disappeared and I FELT reassured that I had made the right decision. Moo instantly smiled and waved when she 'saw' them on the screen and the lesson went well with only a few hiccups on Moo's part when she wanted to EAT the playdough and not PLAY with it!!

As usual I was bursting with pride for my little darling. She lasted 40 minutes without getting irritable with us and she responded so well to all the activities! Thankfully we were able to use familiar props with her favourite book 'This is the Mud' (Thanks Kath & Eva) so it wasn't all too new for her. Michelle did a terrific job planning the lesson as from the book, we then played with Playdough with all the farm animals getting STUCK! Macie just LOVED it....

Thankfully Michelle and Linda reassured me that while the IEP may be long - it is also a 6 month plan. After a great lesson and chat with them, I now feel completely confident that Mr H and I have made the right decision!!

With a little hard work, perseverence and persistance - all while ensuring that Moo is happy and learning in a FUN environment - will reap great rewards for the most important person - being my beautiful and gorgeous baby MOO.

Simon Says....

Ever feel like you are being copied by your little one in every possible way?

Baby Moo has been making every noise under the sun....consequently making her Mama and Mr H nearly burst with love and pride for her!

If we grunt - we usually hear a grunt aswell;
If we go hmmmmm - we get more of a HMMPF!
Moo will go Mwah to blow kisses;
Mamamamama when she is awake in her cot and getting upset - in that case it sounds more like Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama!;
Dadadada (only getting the D sound right today) when he plays with her while changing her;
Squeals with her tongue out and lots of other gorgeous babbling noises!

Hopefully she wont pick up on the few naughties that I let fly today when I realised that my washing machine was leaking for the THIRD time! No doubt it would be stored in her memory bank and she will pronounce the 'S' word with the utmost precision in a very public place!! I can just imagine it!

It appears that Moo is going to be a real chatterbox just like her Mama. If you let me, I would talk to you until the sun comes up! Just ask Mr H....he knows that if I am not talking - it usually trouble in paradise! ;)

Our first encounter with Skype!

The webcam was on....
The microphone was testing 1, 2, 3....
Moo was in position...
I was out of my PJs....
and we were trying to tackle the big wide world of SKYPE!



Yes - thats right - we had our very first Hear & Say Skype session this morning with the beautiful ladies Michelle and Linda!

Just when I thought I was ready and raring I realised that....

The webcam was not on - instead I had the laptop camera on and it was UPSIDE DOWN MISS JANE!
The microphone was NOT testing 1, 2, 3 - they couldnt hear us at all!
Moo was still in position however she decided that eating her hearing aids instead of her rusk was much more exciting. Consequently, she managed to pull the tubing away from the mould in the process! I am praying that her new moulds will arrive in the post today!
And above all of that....I realised just how technogically retarded I am!

So after a few techno issues - we were finally the right way around and hearing each other talk!



Thankfully Mr H came home specially and tended to a crazy Baby Moo while I planned with the girls for Macie's upcoming week and next lesson. I loved the way I had a voice with what we will be doing in the lessons and incorporating the way that I parent/teach into the lesson planning. All the planning is based around a box of resources that is provided to us once a month. The box is full of goodies - farm animals, playdough and shape cutters, cars, aeroplanes, books, reptiles, duck puppets, etc!



There is also a container for BUBBLES....I was so excited to see them and instantly started blowing bubbles for Moo to play with. Much to my dismay...Moo was horrified from them and just plain scared! She screamed at me until I stopped blowing them and each time I pull the container out...she knows what is happening and hates them! Can you believe it? Michelle & Linda are determined to make Macie love the bubbles so that should be great to see!!

I only had ONE request.....and that was that no snakes are incorporated into the animal play (there is a plastic snake in the reptile pack!). The last thing we want is for Macie to associate the slimy evil creatures with PLAY!! Thankfully I am not the first parent who has requested this!! :)

So, I am happy to report that we survived our first encounter with Skype and live to share the tale with you! If today's lesson is an indicative of our journey with Hear & Say - then I am very excited...to say the least!



Thanks Girls!!

Finding the time....

After another week of Macie being without hearing aids - my patience with our local hearing centre is growing thin. Since Macie was diagnosed at 3 months - she has been without her hearing aids for 3 weeks - due to problems with Australian Hearing....and it's simply not good enough.

I have tried everything to obtain better service and a faster turn around for her moulds....but it appears that my complaints have landed on deaf ears....pardon the pun!

Last week I received an e-mail from our hearing support facilitor advising that the majority of parents are meeting this resistance and delays from our centre. She confirmed that due to the introduction of the Healthy Hearing Screening Test at birth, there is now a number of babies being diagnosed with a hearing loss. Consequently, the government have not allowed for sufficient funding to cover this new demand. She suggested that I write a letter to voice my concerns to the necessary government officials.

My first response was 'What is one letter going to do?'. My next response was 'I haven't got the time'.

It is then that I looked at Moo and realised that her future is in my hands. It is time to fight no matter how much TIME it took....I must FIND the time.

So instead of writing ONE letter - I have done a shout out to all the families on the Aussie Deaf Kids forum and invited them to join me in our petition and our DEMAND for more funding. Today, I am doing a shout out to all my loyal readers - and asking you all (if it relates to you of course!) if you would like to join me in my quest.

Along with my Government Funding Quest - I am also embarking on a 'Find more Time' Quest to fit in all of my responsibilities and also my new little business which is taking off!! So, if anyone knows where to find more time....then all comments are definitely welcome!

So, yes, I have decided to fight - and I hope you do too. I look forward to hearing from you!

Loud Shirt Day...

I have a case of the guilts. It's 'Loud Shirt Day' on Friday which is a cause raising money for deaf babies....and I haven't organised a thing! To be honest with you - I didn't even know about it until I saw a link on Facebook....and I swore to myself that if I had more notice I would have organised a LOUD morning tea with all our friends.

So instead - I will just do a shout out to you all! Friday is LOUD SHIRT day - get your Sunday best out and raise some money and AWARENESS for deaf babies.

A meeting with the manager....

As you may all be aware....I opened a can of whoop-ass on our local hearing centre due to a few rude phone calls, difficulty with the appointment process and lots and lots of tears. When I questioned their ethics - they rebutted with a simple comment of 'We don't get enough funding to support all these children'. So guess what? I went higher, and higher and higher - and managed to get the personal e-mail address and telephone number for the Head of Paed. Audiology of Australian Hearing....yep - don't mess with THIS Mama.

Consequently, I now have a meeting with the manager of the hearing centre on Friday. He has requested the meeting....and strangely, I feel nervous and not liberated that I managed to get my voice heard. I feel like I have been called to the principal's office.....and I honestly don't know why.

Obviously due to my contact with the BOSS, I am now being treated like a queen. They are conveniently fitting Macie into any appointment requested and are ever so helpful....but the question is....are they being helpful to every other family? Or just me because I jumped up and down demanding the service they promised?

So I will be spending the rest of the week preparing for this meeting. To gather my notes, my observations, my questions and my vision for this hearing centre. I want to see the centre obtain more funding to support the families and most importantly, the children.

So wish me luck....tips on how to deal with managers would be greatly appreciated!!!

If I was given the choice....

Whilst reading Big Teeth & Cloud's blog post today, Reflecting on Months before Magic Ears it reminded me what a huge impact hearing aids have had on my life.

It also prompted me to proudly state as a comment on her blog that if I was to be given the choice to be given my hearing back - I wouldn't accept it.

Big call isn't it?

After years and years and years of accepting my hearing impairment, my hearing aids and the stigma that goes with it....I am now proud to be Deaf. I am proud to wear my hearing aids. I am proud to tell people 'Hey - my Mama fought for me when I was young and now it's my job to make her proud'.

Recently, my sister and I were speaking about the option to have a Cochlear Ear Implant. She was telling me about a recent appointment she had with an ENT which resulted into some harsh words being exchanged between both the doctor and herself. You are wondering why? It is because the ENT was trying to advise her to have the CI implant....and my sister became offended. What is wrong with hearing aids? What does the CI Implant do that the hearing aids dont? Can you guarantee 100% that the operation will be a 100% success....and the answer was NO. ** This is to be no offense to CI Implant patients. Personal opinions and feelings ONLY **

Obviously, the ENT was only doing his job. He was looking at a case from a medical perspective - and realising that he could perhaps implant the CI and give my sister a life without hearing aids. My sister didn't appreciate his perspective AT ALL!

Then when we were attending an appointment with Macie's audiologist we were then advised that perhaps my sister and I would eventually need CI Implants. Once again, we advised him that this would not be necessary and we would not be interested in this. My Mama was so offended that they even suggested it - as she has spent many many years teaching us to love ourselves with our hearing aids.

Hearing aids have become such an important part of our lifes. They have shaped us to be the proud, strong and opinionated women that we are today. They have taught us that nothing will stand in our way and if it is worth it - we should fight for what we believe in. They have taught us that there are some VERY narrow-minded people in the world who judge a book from it's cover.....but that has only made us more determined to widen their horizons and appreciate our loved ones who accept us for WHO WE ARE.

So - when asked the question - Would we give up our hearing aids? The answer is a strong, firm and decisive N-O.....NO.

This is me - love me for it.

Making Progress!

Recently, I contacted the Principal Audiologist for Paed. Services at Australian Hearing in Melbourne to voice my concerns over the service and care that our local centre is providing children and their families - in particular - MY FAMILY.

I asked for answers to the rudeness I was receiving from the reception staff, the resistance with appointments, the delays with receiving moulds, the lack of plans in place for our audiologist's maternity leave and most importantly, the apparent lack of funding for the Paed. Audiologist.

Almost immediately, I received a response confirming that my e-mail will be acted upon and the issues will be ironed out. I rang the Audiologist to introduce myself and fell in love with her. She is fantastic! I can now can see light at the end of our tunnel of struggles!

The most important thing she told me though - is to continue using polite assertiveness towards the staff as it is my job to fight for Moo - as I am Moo's advocate to ensure she receives the care and service she deserves.

So, when the going gets tough and you feel like you can't fight the higher authorities - just remember that you are doing what is RIGHT! You are fighting for your children - you are advocating when they don't have the voice to do it themselves. My Mama did this for me all those years ago and now it is my job to do it for Moo.

So there is light at the end of the tunnel - and also a beautiful life for my beautiful family.

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BUSTED!

Moo was cheeky today....at times I wasnt looking, she would grab her ear and consequently her hearing aid - and then inspect it....with her MOUTH! Oh No!!!

I caught her numerous times and managed to get a few moments on camera! No matter how many times I said 'NO MOO - That does not go in your mouth' - I was greeted with a cheeky smile and a look as if to say 'Whatever Mama!'.

I remember the stories my Mama told me of times when I didn't want my hearing aids in. I would be ultra-cheeky too and hide my hearing aids in sandpits, toy boxes - absolutely anywhere I could think of. My poor Mama wouldn't realise until we had got home and then would proceed to pack us back in the car and go to search the park where we were playing or the kindy we were attending. Back in those days, we didnt have the choice of coloured hearing aids and they were all the standard BEIGE.....so looking for beige hearing aids in the sand was not a pleasant moment for my Mama. But she always found them - and we never went a day without them.

She would also tell me stories of how we would jump in a pool without taking them out, or we would take them out and then not put them back in so they would sit outside in the rain or the dew. Or we would be playing with waterbombs and get hit in the head and they would be wet.....Needless to say - we were always doing something we shouldn't be doing with our hearing aids....and causing my Mama plenty of grey hairs.

So, as I put Moo's hearing aids back in for the tenth time today, I found myself laughing. Karma is such a terrific thing isn't it! I put my Mama through hell when I was a child - so imagine what Moo is going to do to me!!!

Oh the joys!! But I wouldnt change it for the world. Not when these innocent eyes are looking at me!