Cry me a river....

Today was the first day where I grieved at the fact that Macie was hearing impaired.

Today was the first day that I wished that she didn't have to deal with such negative people.

Today was the first day that I cried and cried and cried.

And all because of AUSTRALIAN HEARING.

Yep - they are back at it again. Being the difficult, irritable, unreasonable, unfriendly government agency that they are. They went and cancelled Macie's appointment TOMORROW without giving me the chance to reply to their message and then had the hide to fight with me about it and tell me that they are doing what I asked them too. They said they had made another appointment for the 12th April - so that would mean that Macie wouldn't have new moulds for 2 MONTHS....when she is supposed to get them every 3 weeks. Why would I ask them to do that?

In the end, I just burst into tears over the phone and asked them why they are being so difficult. Why the feel the need to be so difficult when I am simply a Mama who is trying to make sure that her baby's needs are met. Finally, they relented and said that they will have to squueze me in but managed to give me the same time, same place and same day. How convenient?

And then.....I cried a river. I rang my Mama and cried a river, I rang my Mr H and cried a river and then I sat on the couch with my head in my hands and cried a river. With all this crying, Moo thought she better join in so as I held her we both cried together. And then she stopped, placed her hand on my face and smiled. It was her way of telling me.....no more tears Mummy.

Enough tears have been shed. I will go into Australian Hearing with my head held high, dressed for combat and ready for battle with my Mama at my side. I am Macie's advocate - I will do anything I have to. Tomorrow is a new day.

Sniffer Dog Saves the Day!

Oh yes - today was definitely one of my best 'Woah - that was lucky' moments. And perhaps a 'Thank God I'm Deaf' moment.

For many years - my parents have always called me the 'Sniffer Dog'. I can literally smell anything and it used to drive my Mama INSANE! It has always been thought that due to my hearing loss - my other senses are stronger - and in my case - that would be my scent! I have fond memories that are associated with smells - my HATES are - watching my Dad's football team and smelling the Deep Heat oozing from their skin, the way my Dad smelt after mowing the lawn, the smell of fish cooking on Good Friday (YUCK) and countless other smells that would sent me hurling! But then, there are always great memories too - smelling Mama's cooking, or the neighbour's BBQ wafting into your house, or the smell of the Jacarandas blooming. And even now - I love the smells of Moo after her bath, my Mr H's aftershave and my favourite is....the smell of HOME!

Sorry - back to my Chaos in the Kitchen Tale.....

Well - it's harvest time on the farm here so with harvest - there is always an abundance of food and goodies for the workers, especially Mr H. So, as Moo and I are planning an Easter away with my family, I spent the day in the kitchen cooking and creating treats to compensate for our absence!

With Moo supervising - I was making double choc biscuits - the super sweet, fudgy-wudgy type - thanks to Donna Hay! So to add to the sugar mix - I had to melt chocolate. After watching my Mama do it countless times - I put the chocolate in a microwave container and placed it in the microwave to be nuked. Pressed START and went off to do the next task....

Then my instincts kicked in and my Sniffer Dog nose went sniffing. Sniff Sniff Something DOES NOT smell right....Sniff Sniff ...plastic....smoke....burning.... OMG!! I opened our microwave to be enveloped in billowing smoke........yep - you guessed. The chocolate burnt the container and my microwave was under seige! The kitchen was soon a haze and now as I sit here and write this - I can still smell the smoke in my hair....

And after I cleaned up the mess and organised the chaos - Mr H came home, smelt the smoke and simply said..... 'What the HELL are you cooking'! I simply handed him a biscuit and I am happy to report that the biscuits were a TREAT along with the casseroles, sandwich fillings, etc etc!

A chef, mama, wifey, firefighter AND sniffer dog....all in a days work.

Lets hope tomorrow doesn't involve as much drama!

Guilty as charged.....

I had a moment today where I was frightened, scared, and worried sick. And then the guilt set in. You would NEVER believed what happened.....

While Moo was sleeping - I decided to get creative and make her a set of bunny ears and a little tail to take a photo for our parents as an Easter pressie from Moo. I finished my project, Macie woke up and I tried it on her while Mr H held her. All of a sudden she let out a cry and we laughed - just thinking that she was hating us for dressing her up!

Then we realised her eyes were tearing up, and dramatically her face was becoming covered in a nasty red rash. I mean literally in seconds - the rash was getting worse and her eye was constantly weeping. We nearly had the hospital number dialled in our phone when I let my instinct kick in - and called my Mama instead. She told us to get her in the bath straight away and put a dash of milk in her eye........before I could hang up the phone - Mr H had the bath running...

So we did what Dr Mama said - and the eye stopped weeping and her rash eventually cleared up within the hour. We worked out that the glue wasnt 100% dry and must had caused an allergic reaction.......and it happened that quickly......within seconds.

As she happily played in the bath - I just sat there admiring her while keeping a washer over her forehead - and found myself repeating 'I am so sorry, I am so sorry - I didn't mean to. I would never intentionally hurt you' and she would just smile at me and blow me a raspberry as if to say 'It's OK Mummy - I am all OK now!'.

So - I am guilty as charged. Mr H has politely asked if I could just go and buy some little bunny ears from a cheap shop instead of making more. He admitted that it scared the absolute life out of him - and he was about 5 seconds from putting her in the car and rushing her to town.

I feel so guilty for scaring him, for hurting my baby - all for lousy photo as an Easter Bunny.

It's a Mama thing - and only other Mama's would be able to relate just how guilt can take over.....even with the smallest things.

One day.....and one day only!

After working from dusk til dawn for the past thirteen days.....Mr H has awarded himself a day off.....just one day! HOORAY!

Moo & I are letting him have a well deserved sleep-in and then we cant wait to spend the day with our beautiful hubby and daddy.

It's the small things in life I enjoy.....things like a simple day at home with my beautiful family. I cant ask for much more than that.

Why do people have to be so DIFFICULT.....

I had a less than sunny moment today.....

We travelled to Toowoomba TWO weeks ago to have Baby Moo's mould impressions done for her hearing aids. As she is so young - we need to have mould impressions done at least every 3 to 4 weeks! So, when it was TWO weeks later and the moulds still hadn't arrived in the mail.........I started to get my cranky pants on.

And, when I called Australian Hearing - all they could tell me was 'They were sent a COUPLE of days ago.' I politely said to them....'Could you give me a date - as I only get mail twice a week....and I live 30km out of town' and the response I got was 'They were sent a couple of days ago!'

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT!!!!!

I was just furious with them. So after trying to politely end the conversation - I put Macie in the car and off we went to Post Office in town. Surprise Surprise - they were there and thankfully we have some moulds that actually fit her!

I feel sorry for these people who live their life with so much rudeness and negativity! They must miss out on so much love and joy - all because they are so set in their ways and would prefer to wear a frown instead of a smile.

My Mama gave me some very wise words today after I vented to her about my experience.....

'Flies are attracted to sugar and NOT vinegar. Always remain nice - and you may get somewhere with the negative people in your world'.

Unfortunately my Mama met the same resistance from Australian Hearing all those years ago when I was young! It makes me sick that they make our lifes so difficult when we have already been given a hurdle to jump for our children in the first place.

On a more positive note......I got in the Easter Spirit today and made a Country Easter Tree.....I think it's super cute!!

An honest moment.....

At the moment, I am currently playing the leading role as the 'Farmers Widow'. The one that kisses her husband goodbye for the day before the rooster crows and randomly see him during the day for 10 secs for a kiss or for a top up of food!

I miss my Mr H.....

I miss our early morning snuggles and good morning kisses
I miss sharing our morning coffees while watching and smiling over Baby Moo playing on her mat
I miss our lunch time dates where we happily make our sandwiches together and share our stories from the day
And most importantly, I miss my 5pm time with my Mr H. His knock off time when he comes home to spend time with us. Where he plays with Moochy and then he baths her which is their special play time and they have such a lovely time.

I miss my Mr H. Hopefully things on the farm quieten down so I can have my hubby, my best friend, my sanity home for a little longer....

No matter how busy....

I am feeling so SUPER DOOPER loved at the moment.

To say that Mr H is busy on the farm is an understatement. He is leaving the house at the crack of dawn and not home until the late hours of the night. But in between spraying, harvesting, loading trucks, moving aurgas, carting grain - he still finds the time to pop in quickly to have a quick dance around the kitchen, give me a kiss and tell me how much he loves me. He then finds Baby Moo to whip her up into the air and showers her in kisses. To see Moo's eyes light up when she sees her Daddy is home - makes my heart want to explode for my beautiful family.

Moo and I are so lucky to have such a beautiful, loving, caring and attentive hubby and daddy. No matter how busy he is - he ALWAYS has time for his family.

We love him more than rainbows.

Can you hear what I see??

All my life I have know no other way than to wake up daily, put my hearing aids in my ears and grace the world with a beautiful, optimistic and positive attitude. And for this, I have my parents to thank.

My sister Emma and I were diagnosed with a moderate hearing loss when Emma was four and I was two. My mama had noticed that something was just no quite right. Consequently, she went to see numerous doctors and specialists who all sent her home and told her that she was being an over-reactive Mama and that we were 'fine'. Thankfully Mum acted on those ever so strong Mama-instincts and continued to fight until we were given the proper and correct hearing test to PROOVE that we were infact 'fine'. With my Dad also having a hearing loss and wears one hearing aid - there was a definite presence of hearing impairment in the family.

The results came in and it was confirmed - we were 'hard of hearing'. Mum was devastated....as with the results, came the comment from the doctor.....'They are deaf, they are going to be mute, they are not going to achieve anything or BE anything - you are just better off putting them in a special school'. And the response from my Mama laced with fury and hurt was 'OVER MY DEAD BODY'.

So Mama researched everything she could and devoted her life to her two girls to ensure that they had NO limitations - that the world was their oyster. We were enrolled into normal kindergartens and schools, we excelled in all of our classes, we were in the choir (musnt be too mute!), the swimming team (we could still hear the gun!), and the list is endless. To ensure we spoke with the utmost precision, we had speech therapy twice a week for 12 years. If our hearing aids broke, we would not miss a day of school - instead Mum or Dad would be late for work while they took it to be fixed. In the 12 years I was at school - I only missed 4 days of school.

Without my parents determination to give us a life - I know for sure we would not be the strong-minded, opinionated, happy and positive women we are today. My life is so ultimately blessed with my beautiful and loving family. I am now a full time Mama to Baby Moo - but I have worked for years in Law. I started as a fresh out of school paralegal and progressed to a Conveyancing Manager - being the author of up to 50 files and responsible for the relationship with countless clients. Emma is now a fully-qualified Teacher of the Deaf majoring in Special Education. Daily she shows the young deaf children of our generation that they can do ANYTHING! She teaches them that no matter what, they can go to be doctors, teachers, police officers, etc. And for those children to be able to relate to her - is my Mama's dream.

So when Mr H and I were told that our beautiful, perfect, little girl was 'hard of hearing' - there were only a few tears shed. But we knew that this small little defect would not affect her - it would only make her stronger to fight the narrow minded people in this world and more determined to be the VERY best person she could be. And as she sits here playing with her toys with her gorgeous baby pink hearing aids in - I look at her with pride, love and adoration. Never once has she complained or cried about the constant trips to Brisbane and Toowoomba for testing, doctors appointments or mould impressions. She greets every doctor, specialist and nurse with a beautiful smile and a little chuckle. She is an angel - who touches the lives of so many people and gives hope to her family that she will simply be OK as she grows older.

And she is lucky.....

* Lucky to have the most beautiful Daddy in the world - who never once shed a tear when he was told of her loss, smiled when he saw her hearing aids and provided her with the most beautiful, positive experience. In Daddy's eyes - Mummy wears hearing aids and he thinks she is the most beautiful person he has ever met....so why would he be upset about his baby girl taking after his Mummy?
* Lucky to have her Mimi & Poppy(my Mama & Papa) as they has been through the journey of having hearing impaired children. They are now my mentors - my guidance when things get tough with providing Moo with the right direction.
* Lucky to have her Aunty Em - a teacher of the deaf! There will be no slacking off for this little chicken!
* Lucky that she has so much to be thankful for - she can still hear her Mummy & Daddy telling them how much we love her, she can still see her friends and family and she can still walk, talk, crawl, cry and smile. She is just so lucky!



Playing with all the loud things she can get her hands on - rattles, maracas - she just loooooves NOISE!!



Special time with Daddy.....she also loooooves books!!

So the question is, can you hear what I see?

A wise person once said.......

I had a 'Fraidy Cat' moment yesterday when I was told that my blog could set me up to be hacked, my identity stolen, my bank account cleared and a whole heap of other nasties! So, feeling completely defeated.....I deleted my blog.

I wrote an e-mail to my bloggy friend, Amy (Life with Soul) and told her the bad news. And she simply said....

'Live your life with soul....not fear'.

And that was enough for me to jump back on the bandwagon.....

Thanks Amy. I love your mantra. So I am going to live my life with more soul, more love, more creativity and more importantly, more blogging!

What a beautiful day........

I predicted that today was going to be a better day.......and a fantastic day it was! I was greeted with smiles and giggles from my gorgeous Baby Moo this morning and the cheekiness was gone from yesterday! Hooray!



We had such a lovely day - sang songs, read her favourite books, went down to Ma's house down the road for some sewing tips and cuddles, had nice long naps while I got creative and did some sewing and then supervised some yummy raspberry muffins for Daddy's smoko! And still managed an hour of exercise while Moo slept! So so so much to be thankful for!



The raspberries are continuing but not on the bottle - they are so cute and a new way of communication! With smiles, giggles and raspberries - there isnt much more you can ask for! While I was sewing I noticed that Moo is really starting to try and crawl with her bum up and weight on her knees and hands! My baby is growing up so quickly! And when I didn't think I could get much happier - Mr H popped in sporatically throughout the day for quick kisses & cuddles! How loved do I feel!

Back to the sewing...yes - you heard me right! Yes, I know - I don't sew but all these terrific & talented & creative mummys have given me so much inspiration to get busy with the needle & thread!! So here are a few creations from today....obviously still in progress....



This is a 'hand-me-down' dress which has seen 3 baby girls before Moo! So I decided to spruce it up a bit with some red & white polka dots! Obviously still in progress....



While being in the mood, I also made some pretty ribbon flowers for Macie's shirts....something to make the boring old shirts pretty! As every little girl needs pretty things!!

After a day like today.....

I am sitting here just wondering how am I possibly going to start explaining my day?! And then I look down at myself....I have an orange stain all down my white shirt from Baby Moo's dinner of Carrot, I have our dinner of Lamb Shanks splatted all over my white shirt and cream shorts from when I dropped the shank back in the juices and to top it off, I have baby vomit consistantly on each shoulder, down the front & back of my shirt....yes Baby Moo is a BIG Reflux baby!

I feel and obviously LOOK completely exhausted after a long and hard day of trying to be the best & most attentive Mama to Baby Moo. Mr H is busy at work on the farm and working long hours so it's just the girls at home in our little cottage - and to be honest - today I found looking after Moo from dawn to dusk a challenge. Moo was just in such a cheeky mood today - refusing her sleeps, blowing raspberries in her bottle (which was super cute but a habit I dont want to encourage!), and the list just keeps on going on! Never ever would I have thought that being a Mama and a Wifey would be such a challenge!

And after making the house spotless, washing done, floor vaccumed, dinner cooked - I now look around to find it once again looks like.....you know what I am talking about! Oh the joys!! But how I wouldn't change it for the world.......Mr H surprised me and is home for dinner with kisses and cuddles, Baby Moo is fast asleep and I can now have 'me' time.

A simple shower will wash the challenging day away - and tomorrow shall be a new day! And a great day that shall be!

Here we go....

Recently, I was directed to a blog - Life with Soul by Amy and consequently found some terrifc blogs like Sunny Mummy, etc - which have given me so much inspiration, love and comfort! As a new mummy to a Baby Moo, I found it terrific to be able to relate to all these fantastic, beautiful and creative mummys. A quick read of their blog can really help you through a tough day, or to share such special moments are so lovely! So, I thought - why not have a go at it myself! It just may give me the kind of love, companionship and all the rest of the 'gooey' stuff that I need!

So here we go......hello my name is Han